C Am G CWater temperature's rising, the oil pressure's low Am F Dm GHe's coughing out black smoke wherever he goes C Am F GHe should service the engine but we daren't tell him so C Am G CFor he is a grumpy old boaterBaggy jeans, oily tee-shirt, scuffed leather bootsAn abrasive old misfit, too fond of disputesFor politeness and manners he don’t give two hootsFor he is a grumpy old boaterIrksome and set in misogynous waysHe lives in the past, dreams of long bygone daysHe's an outspoken critic of all he surveysFor he is a grumpy old boaterWhen boaters greet him he just cuts them deadAverting his eyes, he stares straight ahead "How do?" and "Good morning" and are words left unsaidFor he is a grumpy old boater He'll shout and he'll swear at boats passing by'Cos they're always too fast and he'll never see whyHe won't be a candidate for 'Mr Nice Guy'For he is a grumpy old boaterContent on his boat through the long winter stormsHe's a churlish hothead when the temperature warmsIt's 'Bah Humbug' to summer and those leisure boat swarmsFor he is a grumpy old boaterThat queue at the locks just couldn't be worseWhile stopped does he chat? No, quite the reverseHe'll gripe and he'll groan, he’ll chunter and curseFor he is a grumpy old boaterSo take note grumpy boater, you know who you areOn tow-path, afloat, or propping up barA cantankerous dipstick who just goes too farSo push off you grumpy old boaters
Grumpy Old Boater
A description of the type of boater I am trying not to be. There are already too many!