D G D We are two boozy boaters, cruising England's waterways G D Em A Steering fifteen tons of narrowboat through an alcoholic haze G D Em A With the tiller swinging wildly, from bank to bank we veer D G A D And we knock a chunk from every bridge, just like we did last year We are two boozy boaters, along the cut we glide We never pass a public house we just have to go inside To decide between the Pedigree, Black Sheep or Bombardier? No problem - we just sink them all, just like we did last year We are two boozy boaters, Jolly Roger's flag we fly “Aha, avast you scurvy rats”, we shout at passers by We've swigged the rum quite freely, canal based buccaneers Now we're feeling sick as pirates, just like we did last year We are two boozy boaters, who moored far from the bank So just like ‘nauti’ sailors, we had to walk the plank But when we returned from the pub we forgot the gap was there And we stepped into a muddy mire, just like we did last year We are two boozy boaters, always minding p's and q's With impeccable behaviour, until we've downed some booze Then we're loud, uncouth and vulgar, you just pray we'll disappear But we set off with our ropes still tied, just like we did last year We are two boozy boaters, our weeks holiday's near done We'll have to turn the boat around, now that'll cause some fun Perhaps we'll call for boatyard help after all they are so near We've not travelled more than half a mile, just like we did last year © I H Bruce 2015 Another song about boating and drinking! This was inspired by the frequent sightings of hired day boats loaded to the gunnels with booze and manned by crews often wearing Captain's or pirate hats. As the noisy boat zig-zags along the canal it sometimes takes a great deal of skill to avoid it. Bless ’em.